Celebrate Toss Away the “Could Haves” and “Should Haves” Day
On July 17, people are encouraged to write all of their “Should Haves” and “Could Haves” on a piece of paper and throw this list in the trash. The point of this exercise is to make a resolution that they will not continue to live in the past, but live in the present.
I have read some self-help authors balk at the idea of examining your past. I have read some self-help authors who primarily endorse focusing on your future. More recently, self-help authors stress living in the present.
I am a firm believer in living in the present as much as possible. While it is impossible to do it all the time, we should constantly encourage ourselves to get back to the present. This is where life can truly be lived. And while the present is very important, our greatest source of knowledge is our past and our greatest source of influence is our future.
Some feel that reflection is focusing too much on the non-present, either the past or the future. Well, essentially it is.
Reflection takes place in the present, but it is either about the past or the future; a previous experience or a future experience. What reflection is not:
Reflection is productive. Simply recounting with a negative overtone is destructive.
Reflection requires critical analysis. Simply recounting is rumination.
Reflection encourages growth. Simply recounting encourages being stuck.
“I don’t have the time.” This is the number one excuse people use to justify why they don’t keep a journal.
I actually liken journaling to working out; even though you know you should do it because it’s good for you, you actually never get around to doing it.
Perhaps the reason so many people drag their feet on journaling – and exercising, for that matter – is the lack of immediate results and the perceived drudgery of the tasks.
As with working, the benefits of journaling are cumulative. You don’t see instant results after one session, only after continued efforts. And though you may feel exhilarated after a single journaling session, just as with working out, it’s not guaranteed that you will feel this every time. Sometimes getting to the page is not the hard part at all, but actually working through the page is where the pain is felt.
But one thing that makes journaling – and working out – more bearable is a shift in perspective. Once you cease to making journaling a chore and transform it into a joy, the task will take on a whole new meaning.
The primary reason I enjoy working out and journaling is that this is time for me, and me only. How many waking hours can you honestly say that you have to yourself? Work is definitely not your time. If you have a family, most of your “downtime” is their time. Even watching television or surfing the web is not your time, it belongs to that medium.
So I’m challenging you to journaling everyday for two weeks. Think of this as the Special K Challenge for journaling. Now before your brain begins conjuring up more excuses, I am just asking you to devote ten minutes a day.
Take this challenge a step further by arriving to the page with a particular issue in mind, have it be work related, an issue with a friend, or even the deferred goal about going to the gym. Just devote ten minutes per day to writing about any issue. By the end of the two weeks, I guarantee that you will have a new perspective on your issue and journaling.
